it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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