All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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