My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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