i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
