the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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