when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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