I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
