Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
