Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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