So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She needs sedatives and a leash
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
