His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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