Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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