i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
