As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
