i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
