I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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