So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
