You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
