I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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