"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
