omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
