All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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