After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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