The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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