there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
