just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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