Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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