ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he puts the penis in happiness.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
