Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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