On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Soap is not a condiment
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
