no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Damn victory sex feels great
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
