Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
