i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
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It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
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He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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