what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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