i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
