"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
