If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
