I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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