one two three fourrrrnication!
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
