We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
