Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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