The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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