her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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