I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
