last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
did i walk over a car last night?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
