I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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