We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
