i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize