hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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