She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
