Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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