Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
