the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I still have a little drunk in my system
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
