He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
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My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
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I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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