I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
it hurts more in the daytime
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
