A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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