Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
is wine microwaveable?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
