chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
