no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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