I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
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Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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