I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'm drive I can fine osifer
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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