There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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