dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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