I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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