On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
