when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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