The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
